Please, help me. I am very sure you and your readers will help find a solution to this problem.
I am not directly involved, but if anything happens the consequences will affect me severely. I must also be very careful so that I won’t put the person who is directly involved – my 17-year-old sister-in-law in trouble. She confided in me because she had no one to turn to and she had been given a serious warning not to divulge the secret or she would die.
I am sure you would understand the gravity of the whole issue if I explain or probably I am over blowing the whole thing.
I am a mother of three children, I had my first two children without any problem. My marriage used to be a peaceful one, but few years into my marriage my husband lost his job. Then, I was pregnant with my second child (please, I don’t want to mention names here for obvious reasons). I am a trained nurse, I have equally obtained my B.Sc Nursing, and I have a good job. My husband also a graduate had a banking job, but later lost his job.
If he was patient we could survive on my salary until God would provide another job for him, but few months after he lost his job, I started noticing that he became very restless especially after the business he tried to go into with the little money he had failed.
I also noticed that he started keeping some friends that I was not comfortable with. I tried raising this with him, but he became aggressive. In fact, he became almost a total stranger to me.
I spoke with his mother and mine about the change in him (both of us have lost our fathers even before we got married) and I was advised to take things easy with him as he was probably disturbed with the things happening to him.
About seven months after my perceived observation, things started picking up for him again and truly he became his normal self. He changed and he started a business. (I don’t want to mention the business here so that no one can trace this story).
I had delivered my second child, then, a baby girl. My first child was a boy and because we had agreed that we wanted two children, I was not prepared for another child.
On one of our very good days when my husband and I were talking, he raised the issue of his new friends and my initial opposition and hostility, towards them. He also emphasised that he had them to thank for his change of status.
I made him realise that my opposition was not as a result of hostility, but that I was not comfortable with them. We joked about a lot of things and we closed the topic.
It was later that I realised that probably my husband raised the issue of his friends with me to find out if I still had my suspicion and also if I knew more than meets the eye.
Although, I suspected a lot of things, but I was diplomatic with him, because I have learnt that their (his friends) issue was always a very delicate one so I decided not to raise my misgivings or say my mind.
My husband and I went to the same secondary school, we lived close to each other while we were growing up, so to a large extent we had common friends and I knew all his other friends. But these set of people that he met after losing his job I haven’t met them before.
They had a suspicious aura around them and I suspect that they are either armed robbers or ritualists. When I later raised this with my mother, she advised that I should be prayerful, watchful and diplomatic and that was what I did when he raised the issue of his friends. Sincerely, I never trusted them or my husband’s new business, but I kept praying and my cool.
When my second child clocked two, my husband said he wanted another baby. Of course, I had to ask him because we had already agreed that we won’t have more children.
I couldn’t say what got over him on this issue, but I was really shocked the way he went about it. I was advised to give birth to another child, if that was what he wanted and what would restore peace in my home.
I am not God; I couldn’t make myself get pregnant immediately. I eventually conceived, about four months after, it was not an easy time for me.
It was like I haven’t had a child before. It was worse than a first timer and at a stage, I was asked to resign from my job.
I had no problem about money and sincerely, my husband took good care of me all the while. Because of my condition, I needed a housemaid, but I was unable to get one. My husband then suggested that his cousin, who just wrote her Secondary School Certificate Examinations (SSCE), but was unable to make the papers required of her to go to a higher institution and her parents also needed help to send her to school even if she eventually made her papers to stay with us.
This was how she started living with us. She was a well-behaved girl who related with me not like a sister-in-law, but like her own blood sister and I equally liked her so much. She really helped me out before and after I delivered my baby, another boy.
About six months ago, I began to notice a change in her attitude. Not towards me, though she suddenly became moody and she would sit down and steer into space. Once or twice I have caught her crying. I asked her several times what the matter was, but her reply was always nothing.
I called my husband’s attention to his cousin’s change in attitude, he asked that I make her tell me what was going on, but since her reply was always nothing, he said I should mind my business and that when she was ready she would say what her problem was. I am very sure my husband did not think twice before saying this, little did I know that he was being philosophical.
One day, I went for evening service in the church, when I came back my sister-in-law was rolling in pains, when I asked what was wrong with her, she said she had menstrual pains. I offered to give her drugs or take her to the hospital, but she told me that her brother had taken her to the hospital. This was shocking. When did he return home? She said not quite long after I left. “Did he not see you in this condition before leaving you all alone in the house? I asked, She said, he did.
I was not convinced, I smelt rat. But there was no way to confirm my suspicion. My mind was far away from the shocking fact I later learnt. I was of the opinion that probably she got pregnant and had an abortion. Of course that was what happened, but I never knew the person involved was my husband.
Two weeks ago, she asked to see me and my husband was out of town. Initially, I thought she wanted to leave, but what she told me almost knocked my breadth out of me.
Before she said anything, she made me swear on the Holy Bible not to tell a soul about what she was going to tell me. After much persuasion, I did.
She told me that my husband has been having sex with her since the third week shecame to stay with us. He made her swear under oath not to tell anyone as this could cause her and the other person’s death. My husband deflowered her!
She had been pregnant for him twice. She reminded me of the day I came back from the church and met her in pains.
The most shocking thing however was the fact that after sleeping with her, he would clean up the sperm with a white cloth and take it away. He also takes away her used
Taiwo, this is too much for me to take. My husband came back two days after she told me all these. I couldn’t pretend all was well. He has asked what was wrong with me several times and each time he did, he would look at his cousin, if she was around.
I noticed he’s being trying to get her alone and she equally is avoiding him.
I am tired of this cat and mouse game. I am also afraid that something serious could happen to this lady.
I don’t know what to do or how to handle this.
Please, help me.