Sampling the milk before buying the cow
By DONNA HUSSEY-WHYTE All Woman writer firstname.lastname@example.org
Monday, June 10, 2013
In an article My Virginity Mistake carried on Salon.com last month, and which has sparked much discussion in Internet forums, freelance writer Jessica Ciencin Henriquez wrote about regretting a purity pledge she took as a teenager, as she found out after marriage that she was sexually incompatible with her husband.
Henriquez was 14 when she made the pledge, and even though she dated her now ex-husband for three years before marriage, she said her sex life turned into “disappointment three to four times a week”.
“Six months into our marriage, the idea of separating seemed more appealing than feigning headaches for the rest of my life,” wrote Henriquez, who is now remarried.
“Without having sex before marriage, I blindly walked up an aisle and committed myself to a man who didn’t know me, and gave my long-held virginity to someone with whom I had no more chemistry than a second cousin.”
Persons who believe in the Christian principles will readily give their reasons for refraining from sex until marriage, as the Bible preaches that sex between husband and wife is the only form of intercourse approved by God.
Other persons will tell you that you need to know the person you’re marrying — inside out — before committing for a lifetime, and that includes tasting the milk before buying the cow.
Below, some readers share their views for and against sex before marriage.
Joseph J, in a relationship five years:
Yes, why not? Because you need to see if you are compatible.
Courtney R, in a relationship one year:
You can’t wait until you’re married to have sex. Are you mad? You can’t buy puss in bag. Before you buy a pair of shoes, don’t you have to try it on to see if it fits?
Llewellyn G, uncommitted:
Of course you should have sex before you get married. I don’t believe you should get involved with someone and not know the person you are involved with. I believe you should explore before, so that you will both know what you’re getting into.
George W, in between relationships:
It’s unfair to both the man and the woman to go into marriage not knowing what they’re getting into. Marriage is a lifetime thing. You have to stay with the person for the rest of your life. So you must know what you’re getting before, so you don’t spend the rest of you life in misery. It’s like going to the market and buying guineps. You have to taste it before you buy it. Well it’s the same thing with sex and marriage.
Camille R, single:
I would never marry someone without finding out if his pipes work first. When I get married it will be forever, but I can’t promise anyone that I’d stay with a bad lover or a ‘tiny’ man forever.
Juanita W, married one year:
Sex is reserved for married people based on biblical principles. When you have intercourse before marriage it opens up a number of doors that are better left closed until you are in a union approved by God. Sex is a spiritual thing and I believe when you have intercourse with a person there is some part of you that goes, and if you are to go around sleeping with more than one person, eventually you lose so much of yourself that you don’t know who you are. People are always talking about ‘buying puss in bag’, but there is more to marriage than sex. Living together and having sex should be reserved for the marriage relationship where two people become one.
Nicole, single, looking:
I’m saving myself for my husband because that’s what my church preaches. It is, however, scary to think about what I’ll get when I eventually get married. But I’m sure we can pray about it if we have problems.
Camalla H, married 2 1/2 years:
I don’t believe people should have sex before they are married. Society would want you to believe it’s OK but it really is not. My greatest regret is that I never saved myself for my husband. With sex comes great responsibility and if you are a Christian or are trying to live by God’s principles it comes with a lot of guilt if you are unmarried. There is no better sex than that which I have shared with my husband and that was after we got married. And I believe the man respects you much more when you enter your union as a virgin.
Jeffery S, single:
I would want to know that my future wife is a virgin. The Bible preaches about the need for purity. We can learn about sex together.
Read more: http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Sampling-the-milk-before-buying-the-cow_14369308#ixzz2VpeUl6bz