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3 comments to this article

  1. Anonymous

    on July 29, 2018 at 11:30 pm - Reply

    I met my daughter’s father through his nephew. The first night I met him I knew I wanted a child with him. Long story short, he didnt want the child and he has never bonded with her. He does the bare minimum not to be a deadbeat dad. The irony is that we talk fairly well as parents and have a decent enough relationship. The child is extremely brilliant and he jokes/brags that she is brilliant like him. He also talks very little and has a very firm personality and my daughter has that. It is like a ‘mini him’.

    Financially I have been able to cope, things were hard at times but for the most part, I did not need him. My daughter is just finding out that her dad is a WEALTHY man and she has questions. I would never ever do it again if I could do it over. The wife passed away and did not know about my child; ironically as it might sound, I could never hurt her like that, because I know ‘taking’ her husband was a poor decision I made. She had nothing to do with my choice and as such, I would never further hurt her.

    He has children with the wife and they do not know about this sibling. My daughter feels badly and I know that I am the cause of the pain. The father has given me all the details about the siblings; he knows that I am not going to contact them. I am now in a committed relationship with a man and I know if I found out he had an ‘outside’ child it would kill me. I am aware that Karma is real and I will have to accept that I planted corn therefore I will have to reap corn.

    I was selfish at the time, I just wanted a baby. The pain that has ensued over the years are not worth it. By pain, I mean he has never been to a single PTA, he is not there on Christmas morning to open presents with her and he was not at her graduation. One of the hardest thing and I think it is often overlooked, is that when I moved on, my ‘husband’ was intrigued as to why I did not marry my child’s father. I took him around many corners but he knew. Thankfully he didnt leave but I know he was not happy to learn this about me.

  2. Anonymous

    on July 30, 2018 at 12:19 pm - Reply

    WOW! There are definitely several sides to being on the side. While people would criticize you, he also played a very significant part. Glad you are now in a committed relationship and presumably moving towards happiness.

  3. Anonymous

    on July 30, 2018 at 2:17 pm - Reply

    I’m currently in a side chick position a place I think I’d never ever reach , for years I was happily married our firs child is 25 the last is 13 , early last year he told me that he had a woman pregnant , a topic we have spoken about at length with me telling him if he ever got anyone pregnant then we’re over .
    My husband use to cry blue murder he wasn’t cheating but I had my doubts , he told me in April a girl said she was pregnant and that’s when I stop hearing his voice all I could think of was I’m leaving you and so I did .
    Then I met this man and he got my interest from the very first word , he wasn’t running lines he approached like a man and I’ve delt with him as such . We started dating on the 3rd date in a week I told him I don’t like people who
    Made up my mind for me , he asked what did I mean I told him and he said ok fair so I told him tell me every minute detail and I will take it from there , I found out he was married he had 5 kids only 2 with the wife, so I asked the question why if you have a wife would you even want to entertain another woman ? He told me of the divide in there union without too much details , I know I am wrong and if she ever find out it would hurt her this man came at a time when I needed to be reminded that good men are still out there a dying breed but still out here , I don’t read too much into what we have for now it’s ok for me .


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