This post is based on an email that was sent and in no way reflects the views and opinions of ''Met'' or Jamaicanmateyangroupie.com. To send in a story send your email to [email protected]

PPLLLLLLLLLLL DED! HISTRIE MEK…JMG CATFISH…MI WAA BACK MI IPAD EDITION

**AH DI FUS MI LAUGH SUH SINCE 2014**

photo-Optimized6-Optimized
Met good morning. Boy oh boy this is my story so I was off Instagram for a min so I decide to come back on it so I asked my friend to shout me out knowing that her Instagram a shot so you know people a go run in from she shout me out lol anyways so I come across this person name jazzy_world1
She start liking all my pic so you know how it go ones a person a show you love you going to show it back so I Decide to follow her back when I get the approve I started going through her pic I was like them omg this girl is so pretty why she don’t have a lot of follower she a follow bout 400 people and only 120 people a follow her back I was like no man she too pretty fi only have that amount of follower but anyways me make the pretty face fool me so I keep looking through her pic and come across her BBM pin so you know me add her up but I never message her I was waiting to learn some more things about her Instagram, like to see what she post so I can feel her out before I run in. The first Thing I Learn about her she was a flight attendant and look like she is one of us Jamaican by going through her pic I see party pic in Miami and Jamaica that’s what make me think she is one of us. anyways one Saturday night on my way to the club my phone make a sound one alert coming from my BBM when I check it, it was coming from jazzy_word1 I was like omg she text me you know how excited I get when me see the text I was like yes father god a fi mi gal this yah now. So we texted back and forth for a min till we Decide to Exchange numbers. so Sunday morning I call her we talk till me phone dead that’s how much we talk on the phone I keep laughing in our Conversation she was like why you keep a laugh at me I’m like yow you sound too down to earth the voice here don’t fit your pretty face she sound like one down town gal when she open her mouth. That’s what bring me to her closer knowing I’m a Street youth. Anyways she say she is leaving Monday for a International flight going to India she work for Southwest Airline as a flight attendant so we BBM through the flight whenever she get a Break. We talk about almost everything fi the last 3week. every f**** night for four hours a she put me to sleep a night time lol so that tells you that we have a strong chemistry on the phone. The Second thing I learn about her she lived a very independent life she have up her thing them and by looking through her pic it seem that way she talk about coming from a good family with money and her ex baby daddy is a ex NFL player used to play for the Jacksonville Jaguars. So me a say to my self yah now a the first me meet a girl that don’t want shit from me I like this. So we can relate she don’t want shit from me and I feel the same. Anyways let me Cut the story short we keep texting Back and forth then she say oh f**k man I just drop my phone and broke the screen because earlier I did tell her fi send me a pic with her in the bed so she pull of the one deh pon me, me just make it pass by still. so her birthday coming up and i Decide to get her a iPad she keep saying no man me good I convince her fi take it anyway then she say just buy it online and I will let my sister pick it up in NY that’s where her flight coming back at so I was like send me the address where you want me fi send it to she like no man just have her pick it up from the store which make sense to me I would Save money than to ship it. This is the nice part now guys this rass gal start tell me how she love me and all these crazy things so I Decide that I don’t want fi talk and the phone no More are text. we talk and text almost a rass month now so I want to take it to the next level. So every time she call I send her Straight to the Voicemail. So she start text me then I reply my girl you have a iPad now right used it up no star. Then she say you love me my reply was yes baby me love you she fall for it next thing I know FaceTime a come in I’m so nervous at first then I see a big fat gal and my phone screen take up all my screen I was like baby stop the playing ting no star lol I was like baby take your friend off the phone. guys when the gal open her mouth Jesus Christ i almost crush my truck A the same voice a come out a the fat girl mouth I never feel so Disappointed in my life before only in movie I see this type of shit what a wicked ugly rass Jamaican gal. Me want back me iPad dwl

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196 comments to this article

  1. PhantomPhoenix

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:00 pm - Reply

    Wretch yu! lololllllllllllllllll….Is wha catch yu besides the “down to earth”? de color? lolollllll…Wathappen? That use to be her once upon a time photo? lolol

    If a one struggler a yard would you have given her the time of day? lolol…yu nah get back dah ipad de? lololl Met do charitable deeds donate to one next time.

  2. Tawkchuet

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:00 pm - Reply

    MEDICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
    MI CAAAAAAAAAaaa breatheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    • Brooklyn Cutie Pie

      on January 24, 2014 at 5:00 pm - Reply

      CAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTFFFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Mi inna tears!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Glammity876

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:02 pm - Reply

    TACKSIIIIIIIIIII :ngacir2 :ngacir2

  4. Anonymous

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:02 pm - Reply

    Lmaoooooo sender I won’t catfish you baby. Link me!

  5. Tawkchuet

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:06 pm - Reply

    Senda come ya man no sahhhhh then suppose a swell she swell when she just wake lmaooooooooooooooooo mi chest oooooooooooooo

  6. Blacks

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:06 pm - Reply

    What a wicked gal then have the nerves fi show up her fat ugly self dwl

    • EYE LID (~_~)

      on January 24, 2014 at 1:13 pm - Reply

      an yuh know she nuh really look 3 bad doh, but she might be a bleacher doh, an fat still………
      but which jackass thinks that was a good idea? as if the person aint gonna want to see you for real.
      And that poor women image she using don’t even know her image is living its own life lol

      • DAVGAL

        on January 24, 2014 at 1:55 pm - Reply

        That jackass got herself a free IPAD lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Dwrl

      on January 24, 2014 at 8:12 pm - Reply

      Dwrcl

  7. Blacks

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:09 pm - Reply

    Met the gal fool me bad star lol

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 1:12 pm - Reply

      dis tek everyting all di pink offa di wall

    • Tawkchuet

      on January 24, 2014 at 1:15 pm - Reply

      Blacks oooooo seerus ting suppose har thyroid did a act up dat day???? Lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooo a cry mi cry enuh man mi laff so inna good while

    • Carmeia

      on January 24, 2014 at 1:54 pm - Reply

      blacks send me a ipad nuh man me prettier than the two ah dem lol

      • Met

        on January 24, 2014 at 1:57 pm - Reply

        _____________________________________ a wha dis man :hammer

        • Real

          on January 24, 2014 at 9:08 pm - Reply

          Shirt hustle him inna real life …….him get a fat con

    • Mixup

      on January 24, 2014 at 5:15 pm - Reply

      Blacks your 1st clue that she was a liar should’ve been when she said she a fly to India with Southwest. Southwest only fly in the U.S., Mexico and some parts of the carribbean.

    • Dwrl

      on January 24, 2014 at 11:12 pm - Reply

      Blacks baby I can use an iPad too, I’m not PHAT But I have a fatty ;(

      You know the cam also add 10 lbs maybe you needed to suggest she step a mile from the iPad lol

    • Mz_Flirty

      on January 25, 2014 at 11:48 am - Reply

      Den Blacks mi can get a ipad 2. Mi promise mi only wt 150. hehe :angel

  8. EYE LID (~_~)

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:10 pm - Reply

    :ngakak

    something simila to dis happen to me….. only difference I tell dem bout demself.

    @Senda
    yuh know, I really like you, tell me what yuh looking far?

    • Dwrl

      on January 24, 2014 at 11:15 pm - Reply

      Him a look a slim gal, what inna dat you no get ?! Lol

  9. kia bubblez

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:10 pm - Reply

    :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak murderrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr oooo gawd mi nose f**ka yu dwpcllllll nooooo sah mi waa back mi ipad ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

  10. Nuni

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:12 pm - Reply

    :cd :ngakak :ngakak

  11. Anonymous

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:12 pm - Reply

    tearssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss…dwrcllllllllllllllllllllllll….

  12. Anonymous

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:14 pm - Reply

    aaaawwwwwwww….. she gaaaan tooooo farrrr rasta…. sheg up da man ya head.. all when him meet a nice bonify girl him nah go trust it lmao

  13. me too pretty

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:17 pm - Reply

    lawd senda you both deserve each other lololol

  14. Tawkchuet

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:19 pm - Reply

    Di B not even put on likkle makeup fi soften the blow woooooooiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeee
    HEY FAT GAL GIVE BACK DI MAN HIM IPAD MAINNNEEEEEE :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 1:22 pm - Reply

      she drop it hotttttt

    • PhantomPhoenix

      on January 24, 2014 at 1:30 pm - Reply

      She went fully dung to earth…face finally match de voice…dwln………

  15. Blacks

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:21 pm - Reply

    Yow me seh I never feel so disappointed in life before mi want back me iPad dwl

    • Dwrl

      on January 24, 2014 at 11:22 pm - Reply

      You not getting it back, cut your loses. For 1 anno she you send it to. You can’t even take her to court for it, you should have known something wrong when all of a sudden you want see har phone break, you want send her something you had to do so through a third party. You one of her scams.

  16. Miss Jamaica

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:21 pm - Reply

    atleast she get free ipad :ngakak

  17. EYE LID (~_~)

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:22 pm - Reply

    we need someone to ‘run in’ now an talk up is who this

  18. Fake Name

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:27 pm - Reply

    cmon the sender deserve fi get con if yuh that naive and fool. anybody over age 10 can see the obvious flaws inn the story. unless me wrong last time me check southwest nuh fly international much less india.

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 1:33 pm - Reply

      if u nuh travel much u won’t know se southwest only fly ina di us.. so gi him a bly lol him did waa believe ina di flight attendant :nerd

    • PhantomPhoenix

      on January 24, 2014 at 1:34 pm - Reply

      Southwest is a ‘ghetto’ airline…lol.

  19. gog3tter

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:29 pm - Reply

    metty mi siddung ya a buss some dutty laugh deh mi poor baby probly tink a mad me a mad. no sah blacks u been catfished.. me want one ipad too enuh send me one nuh

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 1:34 pm - Reply

      mi se u tink a u laugh u know how me love laugh arredie :ngakak

  20. Puertoriquena

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:32 pm - Reply

    AYUDAME__________________________________________________________
    AYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDAME! Defibrillator, por favor_________________________________________________________________________________

  21. Anonymous

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:32 pm - Reply

    Blacks gimme you WhatsApp

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 1:33 pm - Reply

      u want a ipad ?

      • EYE LID (~_~)

        on January 24, 2014 at 1:38 pm - Reply

        Mi want one to, Met yuh have di link?

        @Blacks
        I hope yuh learn yuh lesson

        • Met

          on January 24, 2014 at 1:40 pm - Reply

          hear here now :tkp

          • Tweet

            on January 24, 2014 at 1:50 pm -

            Met, ah woulda take one offa Blacks miself dwllllll.

      • Anonymous

        on January 24, 2014 at 1:43 pm - Reply

        Dwl.oh my word.. smh peope really doing that in 2014, girl just stop be lazy and go drop few pounds and weh u cannot drop just do little surgery and you good to go.. from then if a i pad u want you will get lot.. dwl

  22. simplicity

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:35 pm - Reply

    good day met,metters,peepers nd others….

    leave dis up top mi sey de ppl dem run mi outta dem p;lace de way mi a laff how long b4 mi cuda reply

    :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak

    yes lawd a pure :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak

    dis mek mi frideh a swear all me back a hurt mi tuh bloodclaat

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 1:37 pm - Reply

      yes it a stay pan di front page :ngakak
      blacks check u heart, cholesterol and whole nervous system mi love because dis wudda shake all di old dead!

  23. simplicity

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:40 pm - Reply

    no mi haffi tell dre wen him get him break fe read dis yah it sweet bad :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak

    wen him sey stop play and tek yuh fren awf de ipad a de suh mi knw dovecot have more burial space cuz a strait death tek ova mi wid de laughing weh a gwaan no sah

    ____________________________________________________________________________

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 1:43 pm - Reply

      i imagine when blacks see dat person approach di screen him heart shake velly velly much and she jus ups suh ina di camera she cudda shimmy dung ..jus chow har whole face over di camera suh

      • simplicity

        on January 24, 2014 at 1:48 pm - Reply

        :tkp

        we need more story like dis plz ..met see if yuh can have a JMG CATFISH every friday it wud be so nice nuh mek story nung ppl need pics nd all dis shit made my day no lie ..thank you blacks

        • ThEXOnE

          on January 24, 2014 at 6:53 pm - Reply

          Excellent idea Simp! Met pleaasseeee….. catfish fridays!

      • Puertoriquena

        on January 24, 2014 at 1:48 pm - Reply

        Shimmy DUNG ____________________________________________________________ ah weeeeeeeeeak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak

  24. Yawdy4Life

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:41 pm - Reply

    Senda…..ah doan’t noe if a fi laugh or cry :ngakak :ngakak
    Di fat gyal drop some serious lyrics ova di phone mek yuh gift har up wid iPad. Guh tru wid di next level…cah shi might gi yuh anada big surprise :ngakak

  25. Honeymustard

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:42 pm - Reply

    Deadddddddd!!!! No sah tearrrrrrsss. Lmaooooo gyal d man waan back him iPad. A weak! :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak ………..then she ago ask bout babe uh love mi? Kin rite ova!

  26. simplicity

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:43 pm - Reply

    jazzy_world1 yuh insta about fe blow up mama get ready fe the followings cuz dis yah wan yah tek it blacks just whole dat catfish yah nd call it a small lesson learn yah man…home girl get a ipad doah cyaan complain atall..all mi nose did a drain

  27. Tweet

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:47 pm - Reply

    Oh God Met, thanks fi di laugh, Jah know dwllll! Mi nearly drop mii lunch dwllllll

  28. Dainty Lewis (UK)

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:47 pm - Reply

    What a story long but YOOOOOO Mi laugh til mi weak. Di end shot!! Di man get Catfish to backside. “What a wicked ugly rass Jamaican gal. Me want back me iPad” No sah yuh funny bad. Dwrl.

  29. Tawkchuet

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:49 pm - Reply

    Blacks mi know unnu tawk sex how that did go???? ———————————————————————————— nah lie da one ya shatttt off mi head lmaoooooooooo

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 1:50 pm - Reply

      :ngakak how she brave suh doe?

      • Tawkchuet

        on January 24, 2014 at 1:56 pm - Reply

        Wait likkle go hear di phone sex aaaaaaaaahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Mi nah play blacks mi need more info yowww

  30. Joncrow Belly

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:50 pm - Reply

    catfish only reach some computer illiterate dunce . skype mi seh

    • simplicity

      on January 24, 2014 at 1:52 pm - Reply

      dont say that he bought the ipad for skypings tuh dwrcl

  31. Blacks

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:50 pm - Reply

    Met me seh I was not going to send it in but I was like f**k it this rass gal too wicked man lol now I feel better about it that you guys can laugh about it. Now that she show up her self can you believe this ugly rass gal a try convince me fi stay hell no lol

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 1:58 pm - Reply

      to stay where doe blacks ? she bright after she sell u a B fi a 9 she bright…send in in yes u do di right ting str888 cause dis mek mi whole week all next week :hammer

      • Anonymous

        on January 24, 2014 at 2:01 pm - Reply

        Blacks say. Yes a my girl this now dwrcl!!!!

        • Met

          on January 24, 2014 at 2:01 pm - Reply

          :ngakak

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 2:01 pm - Reply

      So blacks is which ex-nfl player she did have ”baby” wid ?

  32. my2cents

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:55 pm - Reply

    dwl met me cyah stop laugh!!!! Nooooo saaaaaahhh!!!!!!!! Blacks, she nuffi give u back no damn ipad lol, she owned you!!!! No man nutten nuh sweet me so in a very long time. Hush yaw blacks, next time if a even likkle facetime or skype or something before u start sending gifts and getting caught up otaaaayy??? dwl

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 1:59 pm - Reply

      Blacks say him did waa FaceTime :hammer from i was berrrt

  33. The original Smh! Not new round here!

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:56 pm - Reply

    Blacks u a di best

  34. TT

    on January 24, 2014 at 1:58 pm - Reply

    A whe di I!! :nerd

    _____________________________________________________________________________________________

    BWAAAA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! :hammer :tkp

  35. TT

    on January 24, 2014 at 2:03 pm - Reply

    :hope

    Mumma Met a NUFFF people a do dis pon FB and Instagram and Twitter and all these other socia media outlets! Dem tief people picho and create a page for themself and add a small amount of people (Too many people/friends following you is gonna draw too much attention and possibly alert the person you took di pics from) and they fish out di man dem dat dem can con easy. Rich Man, Poor Man, beggar man all TIEF! It don’t matter cuz dem have an agenda!

    Nuff girls do di same ting..use dem beauty or put up semi-nude pics or sexy pics to attract their next meal ticket in the hopes of landing a sugar daddy, a spender or a rich dude who can give them “that life” :toast

    Good luck to them! :peluk

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 2:09 pm - Reply

      but where she get di family pictures ? :alay

  36. Oh,well

    on January 24, 2014 at 2:04 pm - Reply

    A dis yuh call “tek bad ting mek joke”. Thank you Blacks…sorry fi your loss (DWL)!

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 2:11 pm - Reply

      :hammer :ngakak

  37. Fake Name

    on January 24, 2014 at 2:05 pm - Reply

    @MET

    lo awrite even if him nuh know bout travelling pon plane. how him miss out that she alright have her owner things and cyan buy a ipad/kindle/galaxy tab/laptop fi video chat?

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 2:11 pm - Reply

      u know from a woman ketch a man and him start feel a certain way trick could be lame as hell and man will buy it..

      • Fake Name

        on January 24, 2014 at 2:59 pm - Reply

        we all get trick one way or the other. at least him did a think bout him jmg crew and gi unnu something fi laff bout

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 2:09 pm - Reply

      yes it ina mi box yes

      • Tweet

        on January 24, 2014 at 2:13 pm - Reply

        lol di man sound like him a promote a new religion to rhatid- him sound very committed to him cause dwlllll

  38. TT

    on January 24, 2014 at 2:09 pm - Reply

    Nuh worry yah senda!! It coulda been worse…..

    It Could’ve been a MAN :ngakak :travel

  39. kia bubblez

    on January 24, 2014 at 2:12 pm - Reply

    haaaaaaaaahaaa every time mi luk pon shrek fiona mi buss a next dutty laff di gal deh nuh easy at all :ngakak :ngakak all di office ppl a ask mi is wah mek mi laff suh dwllll

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 2:14 pm - Reply

      she brave har wha? :ngakak

      • kia bubblez

        on January 24, 2014 at 2:17 pm - Reply

        Metty :peluk ifffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff shi brave dwpclll

        • Met

          on January 24, 2014 at 2:19 pm - Reply

          :kiss

  40. Anonymous

    on January 24, 2014 at 2:15 pm - Reply

    Me belllyyyyyyyyuyuuuyyyyyyyy! Lmaooooooooooooooo me say. A she. You call real teeffff

  41. It is are here

    on January 24, 2014 at 2:19 pm - Reply

    :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak Blackssssss mi sey mi hand dem a shake how my laugh out very loud. No sahhhhhh.
    Fatty bumbum trick yuh. Balcks yuh shudda google SW Airline and den yuh wud seet sey it nuh fly international, is Airtran dem use for international flghts. Mi caan stop laugh. :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak ;)

  42. simplicity

    on January 24, 2014 at 2:23 pm - Reply

    fe real dat pawt suda puzzle him seh south west a str8 domestic flight lmfao…weh she seh de baby daddy name and play fah agen no man she bad

  43. Yawdy4Life

    on January 24, 2014 at 2:24 pm - Reply

    Don Dadda Blacks..is a mini iPad wid di wireless keyboard yuh baught har??? Dem deh nice an compact…esprecially since shi a floight attendant..:ngakak :ngakak

  44. DAVGAL

    on January 24, 2014 at 2:29 pm - Reply

    Mi a beg yu one Iphone and an ipad. I promise and not as big as she, not even close.

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 2:30 pm - Reply

      ________________________________________________________________________

  45. kia bubblez

    on January 24, 2014 at 2:38 pm - Reply

    “I was like baby stop the playing ting no star lol I was like baby take your friend off the phone. guys when the gal open her mouth Jesus Christ i almost crush my truck” Blacks ur story sweeeeeet bad ooooo blacks a mawnin swellin cuda tek har doah dwpcl or a night swellin dis

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 2:39 pm - Reply

      duh betta do beddder :tkp

      • kia bubblez

        on January 24, 2014 at 3:02 pm - Reply

        :hammer :ngakak no missis blacks fi gwaan bedderrrrrrr lmaooooooooooooooooooo

  46. Anonymous

    on January 24, 2014 at 3:28 pm - Reply

    Blacks let me console yuh come

  47. Anonymous

    on January 24, 2014 at 3:41 pm - Reply

    Yuh fxxxkha you,yuh too licky licky fi ah man, bout she sound like she have har things!so she no want nothing,the one on the left don’t want nothing ,but the one on the right need a lot,ah good !!!!!! What ah nice ending !!!!!!!!

  48. Too much

    on January 24, 2014 at 3:45 pm - Reply

    Senda sound like him have a lickle sugar in him.

  49. BABYGIRL

    on January 24, 2014 at 3:49 pm - Reply

    Mi deh a work and just drop a dutty. I can’t!!’n Wooooooiiiiiiieeeeeerreeeeeee! Catfish she shudda stop chat to yuh after she get the iPad. She brave eeh.

  50. Blacks

    on January 24, 2014 at 4:01 pm - Reply

    At 3:41pm bitch can you read? How me licky licky kmt read it back over slow then you will get the mix up

    • Anonymous

      on January 24, 2014 at 6:50 pm - Reply

      Me nah read back nuthung ,yuh see a nice looking girl pon instagram and think you hit the jack pot, and she independent ,she no want nothing ,so a it would a be a ramping shop !but yuh get ,fu**k!!!!!!

  51. Latty

    on January 24, 2014 at 4:02 pm - Reply

    Dwl mi just a Wanda when all the ipad reach and the man say facetime mi a Wanda wah she did a think when she know a nuh the person pan the pic him ago see ahh boy tha gal yah a real hustla tho dwl!!

  52. 8itorluvit

    on January 24, 2014 at 4:10 pm - Reply

    :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak

    this bigga dan catfish more like saltfish!! no sah mi laugh till mi weeeeeeeeeeak!!!

    evenign jmg family deh one yah beat mi bad todeh :travel

  53. hey

    on January 24, 2014 at 4:13 pm - Reply

    suh blacks send wi u IG suh wi can see weh u look like !!! and fluffy if you want you can send in ur side to darling ….and met aleast she did refuse the ipad and he insisted suh mi nuh sorry fi him a backside!!!

  54. DAVGAL

    on January 24, 2014 at 4:15 pm - Reply

    Blacks mi love dark skin men. foreget di ipad mi waan drive come si yu. order mi one BMW. Mi will pick it up at di dealership.
    mi love yu and tonks

  55. Cc

    on January 24, 2014 at 4:29 pm - Reply

    Blacks nuh worry yuh self my yute lol somn like dis happen to me to…..dis chic call mi fone a ask fi smaddy an mi tell har shi hav di rong numba an b4 mi make it end deh suh mi start dash argument to har, fi bout 2 weeks wi a buss it up pon di fone shi hav di sweetest voice a swear lol, mi even make shi know mi naave nutn gainst fat girls but mi nuh deal wid dem in dat way an shi assure mi shi nuh fat, shi even tell mi di name of har ex an mi happen to know him, an know seh a bay star girl dem yute deh deal wid, suh mi feel convince seh she mus look good, di day wi decide fi meet shi tell mi, mi can com pick har up, wen mi pull-up a di address shi gi mi, a wan big sumn mi si tan up out pon di front a pose suh mi step out an ask har fi di person weh me suppose to pick up cuz in my mind a cyaa she dat, an widout even answering shi run inside di house suh mi breath a sigh of relief cuz mi tink shi went to get di girl weh me com fi pick up, to my surprise shi com back out wid a bag an seh shi make sure a bring som clothes in case shi feel fi spen di nite loll an shi sayin all dis wile shi a move towards mi car loll mi affi make a call an tell har seh mi fren car naa start mi a guh geem a jump an com back an a suh mi escape lol suh mi know how yuh feel my yute loll an like mi seh dem have di sexiest voice lmaoooo

    • simplicity

      on January 24, 2014 at 4:33 pm - Reply

      ____________________________________________________________-yes sah :ngakak

      wen she cum back wid har sey ready guh c yuh face yuh knw i am weak lmao

    • PhantomPhoenix

      on January 24, 2014 at 5:01 pm - Reply

      CC: Yu know sey a mostly fat oman work sex phone lines? lolollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll Yu could at least did carry har go eat and bring har back….lol

  56. simplicity

    on January 24, 2014 at 4:36 pm - Reply

    willie,bigman,dick,david,kunta (mi man),13 unno cum drop fe unno tory cuz a rite yah suh nice cc sey wen seh cum back wid de bag nd weight him heart felt a stick a hurt inna fe know de voice nd face nah chee match mi caan tap laff tuh plate claat

    • simplicity

      on January 24, 2014 at 4:37 pm - Reply

      she* nat seh

  57. Cc

    on January 24, 2014 at 4:38 pm - Reply

    Simps di biggaz dem nuh ez enuh loll is like everybody know dem big except fi dem loll

    • simplicity

      on January 24, 2014 at 4:40 pm - Reply

      _________________________________________________:tkp

  58. Blacks

    on January 24, 2014 at 4:49 pm - Reply

    Yow @cc fi real dwag you know the funniest ting me date the hotties set a jamaican girls dem round here and this fat gal knows my level and she have the nerves fi show up pon my FaceTime she should a just take the iPad and run dwl if my dogs dem ever know bout this yah a straight laugh dem a go laugh off a me ting next year

  59. ThEXOnE

    on January 24, 2014 at 4:50 pm - Reply

    Damn, rofl… this shit is craaayyyy. Mi single and mi birthday a next month. P.S. Mi no fat or ugly, ask MET :angel … BTW, mi all in one drop and mi need a new one

    • Anonymous

      on January 24, 2014 at 5:01 pm - Reply

      Put up your REAL picture and maybe, just maybe I will get you that iPad. 🙂

      • ThEXOnE

        on January 24, 2014 at 5:38 pm - Reply

        Lol, I look better in person :P.. and me way past IPAD I’m clocking a Panasonic Toughpad

  60. Anonymous

    on January 24, 2014 at 4:53 pm - Reply

    Yes, Blacks, it happens to the best of us. I won’t share my story… too embarrassing…..

    • simplicity

      on January 24, 2014 at 5:22 pm - Reply

      pretty place,pretty pretty please nuh duh wi dat man nd nuh suh wi live :malu

    • Yawdy4Life

      on January 24, 2014 at 6:16 pm - Reply

      @ Anon – Nuh heng wi out fi dry suh man. Sen in di story to Metty mek shi put it up. Pink Wall to di wrerl…….:ngakak

  61. MissMention

    on January 24, 2014 at 4:56 pm - Reply

    Now, mi understand the CONNING pawt, a juss suh life guh more time….but weh mi nuh understand is the KETCHING FEELINGS fi a man who thinks yuh CUTE when yuh UGLY AND FAT nuh rass?? Like in CC story, weh she did think a guh happen when him fine out she fat???????? Now nutting nuh wrong wid fat ooman caws mi si dem get NUFF man, but is the LYING pawt weh get mi..

    • ThEXOnE

      on January 24, 2014 at 5:36 pm - Reply

      A lot of people who do this then get upset when them get rejected eno… the nerver of some people…

  62. anonnymuss

    on January 24, 2014 at 5:10 pm - Reply

    Blacks yuh neva duh proppa ‘ investigation’ pon she…Met i have strong feelin mi nuh blacks, lol

  63. Anonymous

    on January 24, 2014 at 5:49 pm - Reply

    Den Blacks, how di phone sex go? mi kno unno galaan bad wid di moaning. tell wi bout dat part

  64. Cc

    on January 24, 2014 at 5:57 pm - Reply

    @phoenics….yuh know dat was mi wul plan! Fi guh Dinna den a likkle lounge den back to cabin lol cuz shi did hav mi medz a way fi di wul 2 week mi deh pon mi bes behavior….a couple nite well wi deh pon di fone till inna di wee hours an shi supposedly a touch har self fi mi an dem deh sweet moaning deh weh shi pudung was like muzic to mi eaz lol suh mi cudnt wait, shi prolly did all a fake dat to lol… ..mi Ben star fi know seh mi all lost fi bout half hour a try find har yaad den only fi buckup inna dat loll

    • simplicity

      on January 24, 2014 at 6:02 pm - Reply

      :ngakak what a moan she a moan while eating har cheese burger it gets yuh in de mood no cc yah kill me awf

      • ThEXOnE

        on January 24, 2014 at 6:57 pm - Reply

        Simp, oh gosh man

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 6:19 pm - Reply

      :hammer :tkp

  65. pretty nikki

    on January 24, 2014 at 6:15 pm - Reply

    :ngakak :malu :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak @blacks was it apple :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak hush story yah noice badddddd :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak @ cc u lucky she neva drag u go inna har ,house :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak :malu :malu :ngakak

  66. DWL

    on January 24, 2014 at 7:08 pm - Reply

    I luff till i week today, but they say no exchange is robbery, maybe she ah collect fi di time she spend pon phone with di man. So its an exchange for her phone services looooooooo :2thumbup oooool :2thumbup :2thumbup :2thumbup

  67. Anonymous

    on January 24, 2014 at 7:58 pm - Reply

    mi nearly choke pon mi saliva di way how mi a pudung some dutty laugh offa Cc..blacks,blacks,blacks poor blacks.U and Cc mek mi Friday boy

  68. Anonymous

    on January 24, 2014 at 8:15 pm - Reply

    Watch her a gi Blacks di innocent face, LOL
    Watch di lazy eye, LOL
    Jah know star, met a di best thing since ganga

  69. Anonymous

    on January 24, 2014 at 8:38 pm - Reply

    Yo, a same way one a mi friend give me a fat gal wid no batty, mi afi wonder if di gal curse, every whey push out except di batty, and mi make sure ask di man how she look, all him a tell mi is she brown and cute, when mi si di shorty a lucky ting say mi a dog, mi afi keep mi composer, mi still give it a one kill still, LOL, when man a gallis a nuff ting man go through, memba dat, yo have all some stink breath gal whey love talk in a man face and dem can tell by man face expression say dem ting tun up, but dem no care, being a galis is a hazardous thing, LOL

    • simplicity

      on January 24, 2014 at 10:44 pm - Reply

      unno too damn bad a dat bout being a gallis is hazardous :cystg

      • Met

        on January 24, 2014 at 10:50 pm - Reply

        u know mi jus read it ova agen and a ded yasso lmaooo

        • simplicity

          on January 24, 2014 at 11:29 pm - Reply

          well adit how him a dawg all wen gal mouth stink him still a kill it dem too gud man

  70. EbonyLolita

    on January 24, 2014 at 10:11 pm - Reply

    Met yu fi have FaceTime Fridays. Everybody fi put up den REAL PICTURE on a Friday then folks can go back to regular avatar!! :supermaho Mi know yu know what ppl REALLY look like on here!! Mi wah see some a di man on ya. :hope

  71. Anonymous

    on January 24, 2014 at 10:24 pm - Reply

    I spread right out when I read this post… How dis miss mi. Blackssss you got served! She nawve no followers cuz a di one pic inna di uniform shi have up dere. Gal yuh good fi show yuh face pan di iPod blacks buy yuh no sturrr a so dem luuuu pan di social network ting it tunn dem inna pathological liard.

    Bubblelilesoup

  72. blacks fr DC

    on January 24, 2014 at 10:49 pm - Reply

    BLACKS YOU SOUND LIKE MY FREN FR DC! A YOU A LONE CAN GET GET TRICK DEM WAY YAH CAH YOU LOVE SLIM BROWN PRETTY GIRL,BLACKS A GOOD FI YOU IF A YOU FR DC YOU HAVE YOUR NICE PRETTY WOMAN FI ALL THESE YEARS BUT STILL A RUN DOWN GAL PON INSTA GRAM! BLACKS MI BROTHER IF A YOU A ME TELL YOU BOUT PINK WALL!

    • Met

      on January 24, 2014 at 10:50 pm - Reply

      really? :nerd

      • blacks fr DC

        on January 24, 2014 at 11:00 pm - Reply

        YES MET WHEN MI READ IT A SAME WAY MI FREN BLACKS TALK! MET WHEN MI JUST LEARN BOUT PINK WAL IT BECOMES MY GUILTY PLEASURE! BLACKS IS A MAN LOVE DE DRAMA,WHEN DE LADY SAW AN JOHN JOHN SAGA WAS ON HERE SEY HIM BREED DE GIRL,I TELL BLACKS ABOUT PINK WALL! BLACKS IS A YOUTH WITH HIM NUFF MONEY AN HIM BIG HOUSE,ALWAYS HAVE A JOB! BUT HIM DOWN A SLIM BROWN PRETTY GIRLS! HIM SPEN ANY AMOUNT A MONEY PON BROWN PRETTY GIRLZ! A NUFF MONEY MI MEK OFF BLACKS JUST FI FIND HIM THE TYPE OF GIRLZ HE LIKES!

        • blacks fr DC

          on January 24, 2014 at 11:01 pm - Reply

          *DOWN FALL*

        • Met

          on January 24, 2014 at 11:12 pm - Reply

          Yes but u have no proof a dat u cannot call out people and mix dem suh without cause.

          • blacks fr DC

            on January 24, 2014 at 11:18 pm -

            SORRY MET MY BAD! BUT TRUE MI KNOW DEM MAN DEH NUH CARE STILLZ! I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR SAYING,IT’S JUST HOW THE PERSON WRIGHT,& HOW HIM TALK PLUS THE NAME HIM USE!

  73. Ha

    on January 24, 2014 at 10:50 pm - Reply

    ok met this was funny as hell naw lie. dwfl.
    am not going to talk about Kartel tonight. have blessed night. a dat him fi get

  74. Riri

    on January 25, 2014 at 12:41 am - Reply

    So BLACKS whats ur insta id

  75. Blacks

    on January 25, 2014 at 1:43 am - Reply

    @riri what’s your? I will add you right now

  76. Tallist6

    on January 25, 2014 at 6:31 am - Reply

    Maddddd funny

  77. Anonymous

    on January 25, 2014 at 8:21 am - Reply

    @blacks you have to be careful not everything on the web is true and if you liked her personality why you can’t work with her not cause she fat she wrong to lie but man only looking brown slim girls she feel !! Me feel real bad for her it’s low self esteem you nuh it very sad . Link me if you want meet some nice pretty independent girls

  78. Anonymous

    on January 25, 2014 at 10:22 am - Reply

    mi nuh feel sorry fi yuh. yuh f**kah yuh. look woman pon IG. if she nuh put up a pic with out make up on she is not the same girl. pretty face full of makeup will fool yuh.

  79. www.com

    on January 25, 2014 at 10:32 am - Reply

    a das why a Skype mi seh, nuh fb, nuh ig, nuh twitter……

  80. Anonymous

    on January 25, 2014 at 10:51 am - Reply

    Blacks what’s your Insta?

  81. MzBee

    on January 25, 2014 at 11:02 am - Reply

    anybody see Nev from the tv show catfish?? cuz dis a history!! lol well atleast it only go on fi a month..some catfish go on fi yrs..all decade!! lol dat a one thing me always say..how ppl get catfished when there is soooo much camera, phones, ipad etc…boy blacks a feel yuh pain honey

  82. MzBee

    on January 25, 2014 at 11:04 am - Reply

    but blacks just get catfished and a add smaddy else…him no learn not a lesson lol

  83. Blacks

    on January 25, 2014 at 11:21 am - Reply

    @8:21am Her personality was nothing but lies she already have me a think that she was this pretty brown girl she feed me with lies for a month. now she fall in love she want show up her self what she think this is beauty and the bees? Lol the day when she FaceTime me I was driving i almost crush me truck I though she was playing a game with me because I remember one day in our conversation she say she going to put a fat gal pon the phone so that’s why i say baby stop play no star take your friend off the phone no star. Guys remember this woman deh pon me FaceTime she nah talk only a smile so I was like let me pull over then I start repeat my self baby take your friend off the phone no star. she start feeling a way then she start talk baby it is me so at that point everything in my body start working different I guess that was the symptom of being shock.

    • ThEXOnE

      on January 25, 2014 at 12:56 pm - Reply

      :malu2 Operation Shock and Awe….gosh… me glad mi no friendly inna virtual reality

    • BADBREED

      on January 25, 2014 at 1:00 pm - Reply

      WOW ………..hush

  84. Anonymous

    on January 25, 2014 at 1:07 pm - Reply

    @blacks I understand but did she really lie bout everything or just her overhaul appearance ?? You know probably she really like you but never know how to tell the truth cause she already begin the lie when she create the page but the conversations you both had at some point some of it had to be pure but now it’s so jaded because she started out with the lie . Next question why you say one of the reason you like her cause she independent you know there are many independent women Jamaican women out here but where you meet the beggisha them ? Cause you guys tend to look for the same type if females . I’m going set you up Pon a nice girl

  85. Me

    on January 25, 2014 at 1:18 pm - Reply

    @blacks…..mi understand si sey lie to you but the girl is not ugly. She might be fat but…..yu shudd never put har Pon blast like that, the story might be funny but sometimes unno must consider people with low self esteem feelings.

    • Anonymous

      on January 25, 2014 at 3:48 pm - Reply

      I’m in total agreement!!!!! Had something like this happen to me and when I found out I delicately withdrew without the girl knowing the reason. Low self-esteem left intact to fool someone else. ……Blacks. :ngakaks

  86. No Joke

    on January 25, 2014 at 1:44 pm - Reply

    Blackssssssss……… :ngakak u was Cat Whaled…hush papa :ngakak :ngakak :ngakak

  87. Anonymous

    on January 25, 2014 at 1:47 pm - Reply

    Low self-esteem dem bumboclaaat, A Dem same one a party a skin out in a beach wear like nana proppa a ball out rayyyyyyyyyy, but when dem want trick people dem come wid low self-esteem talk, Go sleep

  88. Anonymous

    on January 25, 2014 at 2:10 pm - Reply

    Blacks what’s your instagram

  89. Anonymous

    on January 25, 2014 at 2:14 pm - Reply

    Met cam u gi blacks my ig fi me pls loll me apretty brownin

    • Met

      on January 25, 2014 at 6:25 pm - Reply

      uno bad eno man :hammer

  90. Anonymous

    on January 25, 2014 at 2:18 pm - Reply

    Yo blacks da story ya tun up mi don lol . I will give u back the money for the iPad caused this story worth it lol

  91. Anonymous

    on January 25, 2014 at 2:24 pm - Reply

    Metters mi a wonda if a she inna di original pics but she put on weight? The pic on di right is an old pic of her or is totally fake all di pretty slim pics?

  92. Anonymous

    on January 25, 2014 at 4:14 pm - Reply

    Blacks send yuh email

  93. Wife ah Lead

    on January 25, 2014 at 5:33 pm - Reply

    SMDH!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE REALLY [email protected] UP… WHY SHE DO THE MAN SUH #NOFUNNY

  94. Tsk_Tsk_Tsk

    on January 25, 2014 at 5:36 pm - Reply

    Dwrcl

    • Met

      on January 25, 2014 at 6:16 pm - Reply

      :peluk

  95. Observer

    on January 25, 2014 at 7:10 pm - Reply

    den IG an facebook a real dating site fi dhue man? mi ere ppl seh it but mi prove it now :nohope: a muss joke dis big blck man a mek caw fool stop bawn framm 2013

  96. OMG

    on January 25, 2014 at 9:32 pm - Reply

    Oh Please this is alot of gal on IG period. And not only on IG but also in parties everywhere they look different on pics than real life! Dem filtered out cuz I know nuff girl I see out and follow on IG and I laugh with my friends and family and say damn dem wicked thats not how they really look! You cant trust your eyes or IG too many filters! The slim mawga ones pose like they fat and pad up for pics, the fat ones suck in and body magic. Short men take pic like them tall……its nuff lie on IG!! Too much filters!! Thats why when I go out I wear minimal makeup, not into the whole bunch of corset and bs….its false advertisement!! LOL u deserve it.

    • EYE LID (~_~)

      on January 26, 2014 at 6:39 pm - Reply

      yuh just enlighten me on something, I was wondering if instagram and fb full a pare models…

    • Observer

      on January 26, 2014 at 8:44 pm - Reply

      weh di slim one dem use pad up?? oh god man OMG yuh bad oooooooooo but di black mawgah one dem still haffi guh bleach sed speed caw blacks want dem brown n slim :maho

  97. never too late

    on January 26, 2014 at 4:23 pm - Reply

    Sender.. it funny and she shouldn’t have deceive you, but you liked this girl cause she was down to earth.. an becuz she fat she ugly? U deserve it you are shallow as hell she shuda milk u bank book, see a suh unno man stay look at the physical an lose unno mind..

    • EYE LID (~_~)

      on January 26, 2014 at 6:45 pm - Reply

      I agree with you, it doesn’t look like the woman is ugly, you can tell she heavy set though.
      what I would like to know though is how BLACKS LOOK, because many of the time the men that have these ‘preferences’ of ‘brownin’ and ‘my gal affi dis an dat’ usually faver heng on nail.
      + a nuff woman sekkle w/ ugly man because of dem ‘down to earth personality.

      • Dwrl

        on January 26, 2014 at 11:17 pm - Reply

        Settle for personality lmfao lies! Money on the man side and insecurity on hers( she feel pretty boys will get too much attention so she settle for a ugly less attractive one only she will love)

    • Dwrl

      on January 26, 2014 at 7:10 pm - Reply

      If she weren’t friggin insecure it wouldn’t have happen. He fell in love with the pic of the slim gal. She a jerk to steal other gal photo to look man. Who does that???? Mi no blame the man. She weren’t being honest . Her face attract the man not her personality , that was the icing on the cake

  98. Dwrl

    on January 26, 2014 at 7:02 pm - Reply

    Mi want blacks IG met ;)

  99. Blacks

    on January 26, 2014 at 10:46 pm - Reply

    I don’t need any more IG followers so stop asked met fi me IG name. Last night my home boy a show me one brown jamaican girl from NY. bout a your type this dog me just shake my head and laugh lol

    • Dwrl

      on January 26, 2014 at 11:13 pm - Reply

      Sweety calm down I’m only eager to see what you look like smh……so you are in DC check lol

    • Observer

      on January 27, 2014 at 8:31 am - Reply

      :ngakak blacks yah di bess oooooooooooooo

  100. BADBREED

    on January 27, 2014 at 8:24 am - Reply

    me kno the flight attendant girl . she live florida. but a who the fat girl. research mode. soon return metters

  101. BADBREED

    on January 27, 2014 at 12:44 pm - Reply

    O RAAAASS . the 2 girl dem a fren . fatty live a brooklyn.fatty teef slimmaz identity without her knowledge. friendship MASH UPPP .

    • me too pretty

      on January 27, 2014 at 12:49 pm - Reply

      _______________________________________________________________________

    • Met

      on January 27, 2014 at 1:04 pm - Reply

      ___________________________________________________________

  102. Little Willie

    on January 27, 2014 at 12:56 pm - Reply

    BADBREED….yu bad nuh raas!! A you name Matlock.

    • BADBREED

      on January 27, 2014 at 1:04 pm - Reply

      :bola

  103. BADBREED

    on January 27, 2014 at 2:15 pm - Reply

    fatty name BUDOO . come from portsmouth. call out the portsmouth metters dem fi her file. my source not saying much

  104. Anonymous

    on March 9, 2015 at 7:22 am - Reply

    Serve your stupid ass right you no know she for long and you go buy ipad send to stranger a good why u never send her yuh banking information as well let her have a field day, your the silliest street man I know

  105. No Name

    on September 17, 2015 at 9:08 pm - Reply

    For a man you seem very articulate, intelligent, and is a very good writer. For a minute I though it was the mix up radio personality…. Raggashanty. I enjoy reading your story. I actually chuckled through it. Suh it guh.

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